Friends
by Mama Avio
Summary: Your name is Jane Crocker and you. Are. A. COMPLETE IDIOT.  includes snapped!Jane
1. Ugly

**Disclaimer: i am not Hussie so Homestuck is not mine.**

**Ugly**

Your name is JANE CROCKER and you

are

a

COMPLETE IDIOT.

You're staring at the words on the screen and it's like you're not even aware of typing anything; you're too dumbfounded by your own idiocy to really comprehend it. Not only did you just tell Jake English that you had no romantic feelings for him whatsoever (even though you really, really do.), you're even encouraging him into the arms of Dirk Strider, your apparent rival.

That isn't to say you don't care for dear Dirk. He's your friend, too, after all. Yes, you definitely care for him. And, certainly, you don't hate him at all or anything silly like that. How can you? That'd be ridiculous.

Almost as ridiculous as hating being 'just friends' with Jake English.

Haha, as if that were possible! You are so totally cool with this change of events! Definitely!

What pain? There isn't any! Because at least you're _friends_, right? The friendliest of friends, there are no pair of friends who are more friendly with each other!No, who are you kidding? You are an idiot. You are so stupid.

Your name is Jane Crocker and you are currently curled up in your father's chair, crying at your own stupidity, and responding to Jake with short, one-word answers.

It hurts too much.

But that's okay. Because you're _friends_ with him.

Never has such a supposedly-nice word felt so ugly.

Never have _you _felt so ugly.

So very, very _ugly._

_Your lips curl into a smile, but it's tight, strained, and maybe just a little bit unnatural._


	2. Sweet Roxy

**Disclaimer: don't own Homestuck yada yada**

**Friends - Sweet Roxy**

Your name is JANE CROCKER and you kind of FIND IT A WONDER how rather EFFECTIVE your trusty SPOONKIND is.

These imps are falling like flies and you are up to your head in grist. It's almost like you have something powering you, something making you fight wildly and effectively. It's a nice feeling, a _very_ nice feeling, to feel this kind of _power_.

It's amazing how much damage a spoon can make. You relish the feeling. You're pretty sure you quite like it. A lot.

So you keep strifing, imps giving way to your trusty spoon, and you have a quick, very quick, hardly even noticeable-

-_I wonder what it would look like covered in red-_

-thought that you've already forgotten (_except not really)_ and isn't that rather queer!

You get pestered by your best friend, which you honestly kind of feel like is the last thing you need right now, but you figure you'll put up with the crazy drunk for now.

She ever-so-kindly informs you of what you already know, calling you a stupid tight-ass in a flurry of drunken typos, tells you how she set it up _perfectly _for you, how she _gaev you a godnad (lol gods nads)*dodanmd *goddamned opoortuntitty *is correcpt, _how you fucked it up.

She then asks you if you're okay.

Sweet Roxy. Dear, sweet, meddling Roxy.

You tell her you're absolutely peachy. There's really nothing to worry about. You get to be friends with him, after all. Which would have been the outcome, anyways, right?

She doesn't seem convinced (you can't blame her; you really aren't all that convinced yourself) and offers to comfort you in _aanaanny way ouy want janey *wonk wonk*,_ and as vulgar as the implications are, you are thankful that she is trying to cheer you up. Yes, you are grateful for Roxy. You care for her as well. She is, after all, a good friend of yours.

Not as good, of course, as you and Jake.

That would just be gosh darned _silly._


	3. stress reelif

**D/C: you get it by now i hope**

**stress reelif**

Your name is JANE CROCKER and you think you may very possibly be having FAR TOO MUCH FUN WITH THIS.

This being the game.

You get to extract quite a bit of _stress reelif,_ much to your delight (and the worry of your friends, but you're pretending not to notice.)

You've lost track of time, not sure how long you've been in this game.

Your DAD is dead.

This dark, cold feeling inside is getting darker and colder and there is this weird_ pain _deep in your chest, but you're

having

_fun._

Jake bothers you.

He asks how you're doing, how you're holding up.

You assure him you're doing absolutely marvelously. These stupid imps can't handle your prankster's gambit.

He laughs and agrees, saying nobody could outprank or outwit his friend Janey.

Friend.

You feel ugly again. Uglier than you did before, and that pain and that dark, cold feeling are getting worse.

You suddenly are overcome with the need to go strifing again.

Instead, you agree. Of course not. Nobody can out-prank you. You are the pranking master. It's you. You even kind of pranked yourself, telling Jake to go ahead with Dirk, pushing who you had been certain was the love of your life into the arms of Dirk motherfucking Strider.

How silly you had been! He's not the love of your life, he's only your friend.

_{Hideous!}_

And you are his and that's_ totally _okay,_ completely_ keen as cake,_ absolutely _darling.

You cease bothering him. You need some more of that _stress reelif_.

You also kind of want to talk to Jake for some reason. Not bothering, but actually talking to. Face to face. How queer! But then, isn't it normal for friends to talk to friends? Yes, of course; you would converse with Dirk and Roxy as well. Totally normal.

You bring your spoon down onto another imp's head, and they explode into grist, and you are smiling that weird, twisted smile again.

You should go find Jake.

**[Author's Note!: okay i should actually say something now. three chapters in whoops. anyways i've got like three or four more chapters written already, as this is on AO3 already and has been ongoing for a couple of weeks now. it's actually my first Homestuck work and i do apologize for any horrible characterization or anything of that sort! thank you for reading and i hope you're enjoying it so far c:]**


	4. Be still my beating heart!

**D/C: copyright Hussie**

**Be still my beating heart!**

Your name is JANE CROCKER and YOU THINK YOUR HEART is going to just JUMP OUT OF YOUR CHEST.

Jake looks absolutely dashing, as always, even in those silly shorts. The way he yields his guns make him look brave, like a hero in one of those movies he likes so much.

His face lights up when he sees you, and oh, god, your heart is going insane.

You want to tell him the truth. Instead you ask him how his thing with Dirk is going. Only a good friend like you would be so thoughtful as to ask!

Are you stupid? (We've already come to that conclusion, though. The answer is yes, yes you are.)

He's laughing, clapping your back in a friendly manner.

Your heart hurts.

He mentions something about Dirk. He can't wait until they can all meet each other, face to face, and there's a blush on his cheeks when mentioning Dirk.

Your heart _hurts._

You thought he was merely open to the idea.

Of course he would have been harbouring feelings for your friend.

It's not fair.

Oh, did you say that out loud? The look he's giving you is quizzical. "Whatever are you talking about, old girl?"

"Nothing at all! Everything's just fine, dear _friend_."

You laugh, and ohgod, it sounds so unnatural, and now he looks uneasy, but he smiles regardless, nervousness behind it.

"If you insist, Jane. You know, you've mentioned our solid friendship so many times in just the past few minutes, I'm starting to think it was poppycock that I ever thought otherwise!"

Your name is Jane Crocker and you wonder if it's possible to be blinded by emotional pain because ouch, you can't seem to see anything right now because it just /hurts/, it hurts so bad, and he doesn't even fucking _know_, doesn't fucking _realize_-

You're laughing again, and you are acutely aware of how harsh and false and /wrong/ it sounds. "Yes, Jake! Absolute _poppycock_! What on Earth were you thinking? That I could possibly...?" You can't finish it, it's too close to a confession that it's far too late for.

He looks rather worried now, but you don't care.

"We should continue, dear _friend_, or we wont get to meet up with the others!"

{ouchouchouchouchouchouchouch}

That weird pain in your chest is feeling darker and deeper.


End file.
